I had the honor of teaming up with fellow Blogger Yasmin Teresa of Lovely_Mommalife! Yasmin is a beautiful mother that is sharing her tips and advise for all of us Mom’s to gain insight from. Thank you Yasmin for sharing your article with us! You can find Yasmin’s Link to her blog at the bottom of the article.
After having a baby you realise what you want, even if you think you don’t. Why? Well, you have the emotions that come with being a Mom involved. You may want to work to provide the best for your child, compared to what staying at home can give. It is possible to feel a sinking feeling trying to imagine returning to work, due to how much time with your little one, you feel you will miss out on. Even to experience a mixture of both because there is no easy decision. Stay at home mums can feel lonely, mums who return to work can feel guilty and mums who work from their home struggle with the stress of balancing everything. Ultimately, doing what is best for you is the only right answer. There will be pros and cons to whatever you decide.
Doing what you can realistically handle, after weighing up the options will help you to feel more aligned with that decision. Upon finding it helpful to discover how other Mums reached a decision, I have decided to share my advice.
I remember trying to think through how realistic it was for me to return to work, although deep down I knew I would be happiest being a stay at home Mom. Whether that means completely being a stay at home mom or finding a way to work during the pockets of the day from home. Being at home for me means seeing more of my child, in comparison to how it would be around working full time. I had to consider options carefully, due to having my financial commitments shared with my husband.
Below are the top factors I contemplated, before I had concrete reasons behind my choice.
1. What can you afford to do?
I wrote a detailed account of my incoming’s and outgoing’s, if I returned to my job full time, versus staying home. This included any childcare costs. Will you be living of one household income? Will there be enough income to cover all household costs and living expenses. Guess what? It made me realise, that I would lose money by returning to work.
2. What are your long-term plans?
Do you have a career that you have worked hard for? You may want to pursue it around being a mother. Would you prefer to work towards another career path that is more flexible to manage around being at home?
3.What will make you and the family happiest?
Evaluating and envisioning what will make everyone happiest is key. If you know that forcing yourself to return to full-time work will make you unhappy, then is it worth returning? Your stress and unhappiness will end up being picked up by your baby and family. The overall stress will impact your wellbeing and your family, no amount of money is worth not putting health first. Can you imagine yourself being very happy while being a stay at home mom? Do you think you will manage with all the cons such as loneliness that likely comes with it? Will you feel the best working? Do you crave the stimulation and adult interaction, it provides? How will you feel about possibly missing milestones?
4. Talk to your partner
Talking to your partner about your options will help you to feel more confident about what to do, in line with what your partner supports.
5. Find out more from other Stay at Home Moms.
For every big decision I have made in life, I have talked to others who have experienced it. Talking to anyone you know who has been a SAHM, will give you an understanding of the responsibilities and feelings experienced. If you don’t know anyone join Facebook groups or watch YouTube videos, to get a feel for how it is.
After thinking through all of these steps, the fundamental factor to decide on a decision, for me, came down to this question. When I look back on my life, which decision will I feel glad to have chosen? I knew from asking myself this question that since having my daughter, the main thing I now want from life, is to spend every moment possible with her. I want to see the first time she walks, alongside all of the other firsts. I want to be the one experiencing the challenges as well as the delights that come with it. I know that the time will go fast and before long she will be in school. The time I have with her now is priceless. I won’t be able to get this time back, my daughter will only be little once.
Financially, as long as I can get by, it will be worth it. I feel grateful to live in the digital age because there are so many ways to make money or work towards earning online. Therefore, staying at home and working toward finding ways to earn while being at home is perfect for me. I hope you do what is best for you. Whatever decision you make, remember you are doing what aligns right for you and your family. Everything will work out no matter which path you choose. All the best!